


all i'm really asking for is you

by seventhstar



Series: if you wanna i might 'verse [1]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Episode 10 in Yuuri's POV, Episode Tag, Gay, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Rings, god bless victuuri
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-12
Updated: 2017-03-12
Packaged: 2018-10-02 23:56:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10230941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seventhstar/pseuds/seventhstar
Summary: Episode 10, from Yuuri's point of view. Or, the story of how losing a bag of nuts led Katsuki Yuuri to propose marriage."They’re only nuts, but losing them feels like a physical blow. Yuuri drags Viktor back through Barcelona as the sun sets, eyes peeled in hopes that he’ll see the bag lying somewhere on the side of the road. They’re not anywhere, though, and when they reach the bench Yuuri knows he has to accept defeat.He hates accepting defeat."





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kevystel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kevystel/gifts).



> Inspired by [this post](http://pencilwalla.tumblr.com/post/158256706611/kevystel-yall-out-here-calling-viktor-extra)

They’re only nuts, but losing them feels like a physical blow. Yuuri drags Viktor back through Barcelona as the sun sets, eyes peeled in hopes that he’ll see the bag lying somewhere on the side of the road. They’re not anywhere, though, and when they reach the bench Yuuri knows he has to accept defeat.

He hates accepting defeat.

VIktor isn’t mad, of course. Viktor is never mad about the things he _should_ be mad about. He’ll watch Yuuri flub his triple axel six times in a row with a patient smile, but throw a complete fit over Yuuri’s perfectly serviceable suit and tie. He’ll shrug off the repeated insults from his coach and fellow skaters that he’s wasting his time coaching Yuuri, but he’ll lecture Yuuri for an hour on his own untapped potential if Yuuri so much as _hints_ that there might be a shred of truth to that accusation.

His not being mad just makes it worse. If Viktor would just be angry, Yuuri would feel like he’d been sufficiently punished, and he could let it go. But Viktor is perfectly calm, even suggests they call it a night, and so now Yuuri has to make it up to him even more, to repay him for both losing the nuts _and_ not being mad.

So they wander.

(Yuuri knows the real reason he’s so upset has nothing to do with Viktor’s anger and everything to do with guilt. He’s not completely oblivious; some of those expensive designer goods Viktor just bought are for Yuuri. Viktor, who already gave Yuuri everything he wanted by kissing him on the mouth in public in the middle of an international competition. Viktor, who who already believes in Yuuri so much. Viktor, who hasn’t accepted a dime of Yuuri’s money in fees yet and who also insisted on paying for his room and board in Hasetsu, meaning that coaching Yuuri is actually costing him money.

Viktor is giving him presents. Yuuri hasn’t even won Viktor a gold medal yet. And while a gold medal might be an acceptable gift from skater to coach, he and Viktor are now…he and Viktor are now…

Yuuri still can’t quite bring himself to think of himself as _Viktor Nikiforov_ _’s_ boyfriend. Regardless, they’re more than just coach and protege, so  Yuuri has to think of a way to repay Viktor.)

As they’re walking, Viktor says nothing. It’s a comfortable silence, like Viktor knows Yuuri is thinking and is giving him the space he craves. Sometimes their fingers brush as they walk and Yuuri shivers. He thinks hard.

Nothing comes to mind. It can’t be food; while Viktor loves it, Yuuri wants to give him something more permanent. Clothes are out; Yuuri is already the man who stole Viktor from the world. If he buys Viktor ugly clothing, Viktor will probably unironically wear it and love it, and then Yuuri will also be “the man who ruined Viktor’s place on the best dressed list”. No need to fuel that fire. Books? A souvenir? Nothing seems quite right.

Then Yuuri sees the glint of metal in a ship window. He rushes to the glass, nearly touching it with his nose, and takes in the sparkle of gems and the gleam of gold. _That_ _’s it,_ he thinks, and he drags Viktor in.

He’s always wanted a lucky charm, an _omomori_. Lots of figure skaters have them, but Yuuri has never been big on jewelry. He’s almost bought any number of things, but always stopped at the last minute. He’s tried jewelry stores, craft markets, Etsy shops, but he’s never seen anything that made him want to wear it on the ice.

But this is different. He’ll buy a matching pair for the both of them. It’ll be proof of Viktor’s feelings for him, of his belief in Yuuri and it’ll be proof of Yuuri’s feelings, too. When he looks at it on the ice, he’ll know to skate for Viktor and forget the weight of everyone else watching. When Viktor looks at it, it’ll express all the things Yuuri hasn’t yet said.

It’ll shine in the light, and when people see it, they’ll know Viktor belongs to him.

_I want to give him something that will bind him to me forever._

He looks down at the display case and knows what he’ll buy. It’s too much, too loaded with significance. But it feels right, so right that he barely feels the anxiety of spending so much money, and hands over his card.

“I’ll pay in installments.”

Viktor is looking curiously at him now, but he lets Yuuri lead him back to the cathedral. A choir is there, singing about God’s love. The stars are bright overhead. If this isn’t the right place, Yuuri doesn’t know what is.

His vision is hazy at the edges in the lantern light. Nothing is real except he and Viktor, in this moment.

He takes Viktor’s hand on the steps. It’s cold even under his gloves.

“Thank you for everything you’ve done for me.”

He slides the ring over Viktor’s finger. The right hand, not the left; that’s what they do in Russia.

“I wanted to get you a gift, and this seemed fitting.”

 _Hear me,_ Yuuri thinks. He’s never been good at asking for what he wants. He can barely express what Viktor is to him in words. He’s too afraid to ask Viktor for something as vast and formless as forever. Being in love with Viktor is like being caught mid-jump, like trying to do a quadruple axel and realizing too late that he’s about to crash.

“I’m going to do my best tomorrow, so please…tell me something for good luck.”

“Alright.” Viktor takes Yuuri’s wind-chapped hand in his own. He slips on the matching ring, and Yuuri’s heart is in his mouth. Viktor’s expression is soft, fond, so tender that Yuuri might melt away.

 _Tell me something that I can think about tomorrow, when this moment is over and everyone is watching and I_ ' _m scared I’ll fail. Tell me something that proves you do understand me._

“I’ll say something you won’t even have to think about. Tomorrow, show me a program that makes you proud.”

“Okay!” Yuuri says, and time starts back up. They slide their arms around each other’s shoulders, and go off in search of food.

 

 +++

 

 _Oh god,_ Yuuri thinks, glass of juice in hand. _I got drunk and challenged Yuri Plisetsky, a kid so strong he once roundhouse kicked me through a door, to a dance battle. I pole-danced, naked, on Chris Giacometti_ _’s thighs. I danced with_ Viktor —

_No, Phichit, don't tell everyone we’re married! Why would you even think that?_

_He just said we were engaged. He just told everyone that we were engaged! And he seems to be completely serious!_

_Oh god,_ Yuuri thinks, and he’s pretty sure he’s dying. _I did not think this through_ at all.

(And if the shape of Viktor’s mouth when he says “engagement” and “married” and “gold medal”, so casually, as if he were talking about the weather, makes Yuuri want to kiss him and kiss him and kiss him — well. Yuuri can’t be blamed if they stay up a little later than usual that night, pressed mouth to mouth, Yuuri trying to transmit all his love through touch alone.)

 

 +++

 

Later. Later Yuuri will break Viktor’s heart and break Viktor’s free skate record. Later Viktor will call him _my beautiful darling_ and ask him to come to Russia; Yuuri will pretend to be much more reluctant than he actually is. Later Yuuri will tell Viktor he loves him in their apartment in St. Petersburg, and Viktor, because he loves to surprise Yuuri, will respond, “I love you, too. Please call me in five minutes and remind me to buy milk,” and leave. Later, Yuuri will start his speech at their wedding with the words, “I actually asked Viktor to marry me because of his nuts,” and Yuri Plisetsky will scream, “TOO MUCH INFORMATION,” from the audience, and Yuuri will scramble, red-faced to explain that _no, not those nuts! The kind you eat!_ (Chris will insert a horrible innuendo here.) “Viktor bought some as a snack, and I lost them…” Later Viktor and he will honeymoon in Barcelona and go back to that nut shop and leave them a three hundred and fifty euro tip. Later, time will wear away the harsh edges of his memories, and he and Viktor, secure in their love, will laugh at all the stupid things they said and did to each other before.

Now, though. Now he is lying in bed with Viktor in their moonlit hotel room. Now he is pressed against Viktor’s body, head tucked under his chin, face pressed into his throat. He breathes in the last vestiges of Viktor’s cologne; he tastes Viktor’s sleep-slow heartbeat with his lips. He prays soundlessly to any gods that are listening, _please make this moment last forever._

Yuuri closes his eyes, and thinks, with baffled delight, that against all odds he appears to have stuck the landing.

**Author's Note:**

> Oh my god, this is my first YOI fanfic and I'm so intimidated. I was in a way smaller fandom before and this quality of YOI fic is so high that I was like...should I even post things??? But here I am, so please regard me kindly. 
> 
> Please comment!


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